Only The Good Die Young, Book 2
by w0man-1n-r3d
Summary: Please, Let Me Get What I Want, This Time: Kathryn O'Sullivan is released from prison only to find her whole world is shattered. However a mysterious stranger brings her news of a matter thought to be dead and buried. Completed!
1. Chapter 1

Only The Good Die Young Book 2: Please, Let Me Get What I Want, This Time. By: ladydeakin  
  
DISCLAIMER: 'The Bill' characters depicted in this story are copyrighted to Thames Television/Pearson Corp. All other characters depicted in this story are copyrighted to the relevant author or creator  
  
There is an adult version of this at adultfanfiction.net if you prefer  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Kathryn O'Sullivan rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. She was lead down the metal steps of HMP Holloway, by a female screw, a new one that Kathryn had never seen before. Her footsteps echoed down the stairs. It was her release day - the day that should have been the happiest day of her life. She received the normal amount of filthy looks and mumbled comments made towards her as she went. Kathryn wasn't well liked - anyone in love with a copper was considered to be filth here. However, ever since the day she found out John was dead, people had started to treat her with a bit more respect. Copper or not, he was all she had waiting for her on the outside and now she didn't even have that, and some of them could appreciate her situation and laid off. By this point, Katy was immune to their words and jokes, and dirty looks.  
  
Soon after John's death, Chris Deakin paid her a visit at Holloway. They hadn't said much to each other. He told her that he had been transferred to Hendon, to teach. That he thought about her a lot and asked after her frequently. When she asked him about Claire, Chris didn't know very much - he didn't even realise that they were having a relationship until after John died and it all came out.  
  
"I know he did love you, Katy. After you got sent down he wasn't the same."  
  
"Yeah, but not enough, by the looks of things." Katy sighed.  
  
Chris took her hand and they sat together, in silence, helping each other through the pain, until the visit was over. Katy reckoned that Chris wouldn't mind it if she paid him a visit, now that she was getting released.  
  
They gave her back her clothes, a pale peach suit, her Prada handbag, wallet with £100, house and car keys, and sent her on her way. As she walked out the front door, an old friend was waiting for her.  
  
"Bloody hell.Tony Stamp!" Katy exclaimed, "What on Earth are you doing here?" Katy threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug.  
  
"I figured you could use a ride back home, seeing as the nearest station's miles away." Tony said.  
  
"Thanks Tone!" Katy got in the car, and Tony shut the door behind her.  
  
Katy looked at his familiar features, his big, rugged face, and kind eyes. His hair was lighter these days, his face a bit more lined, but he still looked the same.  
  
"You're looking well, Katy." Tony said.  
  
"Oh," Katy chuckled, "Thanks. I feel lousy though." "Glad to be out?"  
  
"Yeah." Katy said, absently, "I guess."  
  
"I'm so sorry about what happened." Tony put his hand on hers and squeezed it as they were stopped at a red light. "I can't imagine what you must be feeling."  
  
Katy smiled sadly at Tony, "It's alright Tony. I've had a year to think it through. Besides, towards the end I wasn't the only one, you know."  
  
"He never gave you a fair deal. You deserved better than what he gave you."  
  
"Tony, can we talk about something else?" Katy smiled at him but in her eyes Tony saw how deep the pain went.  
  
"Sure. sorry. You know me, shooting my big mouth off." Tone chuckled to himself, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"How's Sun Hill?" Katy asked, "Jim still in CID, Bob Cryer still at the custody desk? You know he was a decent man."  
  
Tony raised his eyebrows, "You mean you haven't heard?"  
  
"No, what?" Katy said.  
  
"After John died the station went tits-up. Brownlow, he was the chief super, was forced to retire. CID changed hands completely, and Mr. Meadows is probably the only person there that you know. DI Deakin was transferred away somewhere, Don Beech was completely dodgy and it turns out he was the one that killed John, but he escaped off somewhere. Jim's tenure was up in CID and he transferred back to uniform. And poor Sergeant Cryer, he got shot and retired."  
  
Katy gasped, "Oh my god! Is he ok?"  
  
"Yeah, he's fine. Still, the new super's a right slime ball. No room in his new modern nick for old warhorses like Sergeant Cryer. Seems like all us old timers are disappearing. Just the other day Dave Quinnan was talking about leaving. He got stabbed shortly after you got sent in, because of a call that John got wrong, and married a nurse. Then, him and Polly, you remember Polly?"  
  
Katy nodded.  
  
"Well they started to have an affair, and it's been horrible. Poll's a good girl, and he's shown what a right prat he can be. I hope they sort their lives out soon. What else." Tony paused for thought.  
  
"And how have you been, Tony?" Katy asked.  
  
"Alright, you know. Nothing new. Same old thing. As long as I can get up, police the community and make a difference I'm happy."  
  
Katy smiled. Tony was the simplest and best of men. "So no new ladies in your life?"  
  
Tony laughed. "No. I don't have the time for that sort of thing." He looked over at Katy and his heart ached. Four years since he last saw her and she still was the most beautiful woman that Tony had ever laid eyes on. He had never stopped loving her, even on the boat when she told him about her feelings for John Boulton. So many nights he had picked up a pen and tried to write down his feelings in a letter to her, but he couldn't get the words right and in the end tore the damn thing up. Then after John died, he got in the car and drove up to Holloway to see her, but couldn't bring himself to go in and talk to her. In the end he figured that he would pick her up on the day of her release, because, he reasoned, she would need a way home and it's what any friend would do. Now here she was and his heart was pounding a mile a minute. His throat was dry and the whole way up to Holloway he felt like he was going to vomit. They passed Kings Cross and Katy sighed.  
  
"What's on your mind?" Tony said.  
  
"Just thinking."  
  
"Care to share?"  
  
"Getting away. Blimey, how things have changed since I got sent down. When did this place become a construction site?" she asked, pointing at St. Pancras.  
  
"They've been working on it for ages, trying to get it all sorted. They're renovating the old hotel there, apparently it's beautiful inside."  
  
"I hope they haven't changed Greenwich too much."  
  
"Oh, so you haven't heard about the Dome?"  
  
"What Dome?"  
  
"They built a Millennium Dome in Greenwich. Right out on the peninsula. Ugly old thing, looks like a spider. It was only open for one year and no one went to it. It's right in your back yard practically."  
  
Katy sighed. "Great."  
  
"Listen, Katy." Tony said, "When we get to Sun Hill, would you like to stop off for a coffee?"  
  
"You know what, Tone, I'd love that." Katy smiled at him.  
  
"I know this nice little place by the section house."  
  
"Perfect."  
  
They rode the rest of the way in silence. Katy closed her eyes to the bright sunlight and rested. She felt slightly overwhelmed, not used to the space, and the sights. She breathed deeply until the dizzy feeling passed. After 20 minutes, they were in Sun Hill. Tony parked in the section house parking lot. He opened up the door for her, his heart still thudding. She looked up into his eyes and he smiled at her. He put his arms around her and she caught him off guard when he felt her whole body shake as she sobbed. Gently, he led her to the front door of the block and opened it.  
  
"Come on girl, it'll be alright. Shhh, it'll be alright, love," Tony said. He led her into the communal lounge and they sat together on the couch. Tony rocked her back and forth in his arms, as she held him, crying.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tony," Katy said, through her tears. "I've held it in for the past year and a half, but I can't bear it any longer."  
  
"It's alright, Katy." Tony ran his hand over her hair and soothed her. Even though the tears weren't for him, it didn't matter, because she was there, with him, in his arms. Having her here like this was a masochistic blend of pleasure and pain.  
  
"And the worst part," Katy said, "The worst part is that even in death he couldn't be mine. In life the job kept us apart, and in death, that woman, Claire, she claimed him as hers. She was the job-approved fiancée. Not me. Never me. When all I did was love him, look after him, and made him into who he was!" she bawled.  
  
"He wasn't fair to you Katy. He never was. Shhh. It'll be ok love."  
  
"Tony I can't help myself. I hate her." Katy cried, "I hate her so much."  
  
"It turned out she was CIB. She was only in Sun Hill to investigate Don Beech on charges for corruption. John got killed to put her off her case."  
  
Katy cried even harder. "So if it wasn't for her he never would have died in the first place?"  
  
"Well. yeah."  
  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid man." Katy's eyes and nose were streaming. Tony slid out from her and retrieved a box of tissues from the loo. Katy blew her nose and wiped her eyes.  
  
Katy took some deep breaths and regained her composure. "I'm sorry Tony. You don't deserve this after all you've done for me."  
  
"Hey, what are friends for?" Tony asked, smiling warmly. "It's ok. You need to let it out. It's no good keeping it all in."  
  
Katy excused herself and went to the loo. She rinsed her face off and straightened her hair. Silently, she cursed herself for letting it all out in front of Tony.  
  
"So," she said, returning to the lounge, "How about that coffee?"  
  
* * *  
  
He watched her from across the road as she was released from Holloway. She looked incredible, just as he had remembered her. Just as the pictures had showed her to look. Tony Stamp was there to greet her.  
  
'Oh well,' he thought to himself, 'No surprise there, Tony always had a thing for her. It was always so funny when John had to deal with Tony - they hated each other because of her.'  
  
Getting out his camera he took snaps of her walking out of the gates, seeing Tony, hugging him and getting in his car. Very interesting.  
  
He followed them from a distance and determined they were heading towards Sun Hill. Dangerous territory for a man like him, what with his previous. But he took an educated guess that they were heading for the section house. He took a shortcut and parked up around the corner. In his rear view mirror he watched Tony help Katy out of the car and saw her collapse, crying, into Tony's arms. Leaning out the window he took a few more photographs, and then drove to Katy's house to set up some surveillance there. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:  
  
Tony drove Katy back to her home in Greenwich. She shook her head as they pulled into her drive. Her car was in storage, John had seen to that. One of her windows was boarded up and the garden was overgrown.  
  
"Look at the state of this," Katy said, sadly to herself. A large spider had made it's web over her door. She walked into it's web and let out a little scream. Tony knocked the thing down and squashed it with his foot.  
  
"Sorry about the window, Katy," Tony said.  
  
"How did it get that way?" Katy asked.  
  
"Well, I figured, after what happened with John, that you might need someone to check up on your place for you. One day I drove past and saw that the window was broken. It didn't look like it was a burglary, just a rock thrown through it. I boarded it up for you."  
  
Katy smiled, "Thanks Tone."  
  
Katy fished her key out of her purse. Slipping it into the stiff lock, she strained against it, trying to make it slip over.  
  
"May I?" Tony asked.  
  
"Sure." Katy stepped aside for Tony to give it a go.  
  
Tony grunted as he strained against the stiff metal. He felt it start to give and it slowly slid into place. Turning the handle he squared his shoulder against the swollen wood and with an almighty creak, the door slid open.  
  
A mountain of post was pushed out of the way as the door opened for the first time in years. The house was dark and silent, and cloths had been thrown over the furniture, making them look like ancient ghosts. Tony tried a light switch on the wall, but it didn't work.  
  
"I cancelled all the utilities - no use paying for it while I'm inside."  
  
"Of course." Tony said. He bent down and started tidying up the post scattered about the hallway. Katy walked into the lounge and pulled open the curtains. Light streamed through the top panes of the window and through the cracks in the boards Tony had nailed there.  
  
Tony reached in his pocket and got his mobile. "Here, why don't you call and get your lights back on?"  
  
"Ok." Katy said, smiling. She found her old phone book in the bureau where she kept it and looked up the numbers for London Electric, British Gas and Thames Water. Tony walked in the other room and started to open the curtains. A spider fell on his arm and he swatted it off. It scurried away under Katy's piano.  
  
Tony heard her talking to the customer service people in the other room and sighed to himself. He pulled up the cloth on her piano and looked at it. It was a good one, Bösendorfer. Katy definitely had a taste for the finer things, by the look of her home. Tony lifted the keyboard cover and pressed middle C, the only note he knew. He noticed a music book laying just under the cloth. U2 - The Joshua Tree. He flipped through the book and a piece of paper slid out - the front page from Mozart's Le Nozze de Figaro. Tony studied the notes, little black blobs with sticks on the end of them to him. He knew who U2 were but couldn't say if he had ever heard the Mozart piece before. She was a really eclectic blend of both high-brow and down to earth, was Katy. He sighed to himself, his heart aching even worse because of her. Even if he did work up the courage to tell her how he felt, would he be good enough, or even just enough, for her to let him in? She was a goddess, a queen to Tony. She floated above the earth, in his eyes. And what was he? A lifelong PC. Didn't even have the bottle to go for advancement. At least Boulton was a detective sergeant. Tony was 5 years older that him, and still entry level. He was out of his depths trying to woo Katy.  
  
She walked in, and smiled at him. He placed the book back down on the piano. "Sorry, Katy, I just noticed it and wondered what it was."  
  
"Hey, don't worry about it!" Katy exclaimed, smiling. "Do you play?"  
  
"Me?" Tony said, "No. I'm afraid not."  
  
"I could teach you sometime if you're interested," she said, and his heart skipped five beats.  
  
"Um. yeah. maybe," Tony stammered, blushing.  
  
"Here, let's see how out of tune it is." Katy sat down at the piano and started running through some scales, comparing the tune of the keys to each other. When she was finished, she said, "Surprisingly, not very off at all. I can get this fixed easily."  
  
She started playing the opening notes to a song Tony knew from when he was in his early 20's, Led Zeppelin's "Thank You."  
  
Katy sang as she played the song, "When the sun refuses to shine, I will still be loving you. Mountains crumble from the sea, there will still be you and me."  
  
Tony started to sing with her, his deep baritone voice creating a lovely assonance to her high-range alto voice, "Kind woman, I give you my all. Kind woman, nothing more."  
  
Katy stopped singing and played for him as he sang the song. Tony wondered to himself why she chose that song, out of any of them. What was she trying to say to him? What did she mean? His heart was pounding so loudly it could be a metronome for her. He felt like his feet were not touching the hardwood floors as he walked up behind her and placed his large hands gently on her shoulders, sliding them down over her arms to her elbows. He took an unsure breath, seeing sparks before his eyes, and he kissed the back of her neck.  
  
Katy stopped playing, and took a sharp breath inward, at the feel of Tony's lips on her neck. Tony, summing up all the strength he had inside of him withdrew.  
  
"Katy. I'm sorry. Oh Katy I don't know what came." Tony spluttered, taking a few steps backwards through the semi-darkened room.  
  
Closing her eyes Katy stood up, and walked towards him.  
  
"Tony." she sighed. Tony felt everything in him sink towards the floor.  
  
She looked up into his eyes and saw the simple goodness and kindness there. She took his face in her hands and kissed his lips softly. Tony touched her hand with his as she withdrew and smiled sadly, knowing what she was going to say.  
  
Katy kissed him again, and ran her other hand down his broad shoulder and arm. Tony couldn't help himself. He wrapped his arms around her and returned her kiss. Just feeling her in his arms, feeling his lips on hers, was more than he had ever hoped to receive. He kissed her again, and felt her body relax and melt into his arms, holding him, kissing him back.  
  
Katy ran her fingers through his hair and down his spine as they kissed. She could feel his breathing become shallow as their bodies touched each other in a tight embrace. Tony pulled away and looked at her.  
  
"Katy. I have to tell you this. I'm in love with you. Ever since I helped you at the pub that time I've been in love with you. While you were inside I thought about you constantly. I wanted to see you, I wanted to be with you but I was scared. I didn't think you'd want me. I didn't think I was good."  
  
"Shh.." Katy silenced him with another kiss. "Just be with me Tony."  
  
Tony ran his hand over her hair and held her tight to him. She kissed his jawbone and down his neck. He raised his head, looking up at the ceiling, praying that he was doing the right thing, as her kisses soothed the aching and longing he had inside of him.  
  
Katy took his hand and led Tony upstairs to the bedroom. What escaped their notice, was that a very familiar face had been peering in the lower pane of the window, and had photographed their momentary lapse of reason.  
  
* * *  
  
"Anthony you old dog, get in there boy," the shadowy figure murmured to himself. He saw Tony struggle against the lock and force open the door. Katy was standing to the side of him. She looked tired. He snapped a few photos of them on the front porch. The door closed so he decided to put phase 2 into action. He slid up to the front of Katy's house and crouched down below the boarded up window. He could hear Katy talking on the phone.  
  
He listened and heard her walk into the next room and start playing the piano. The curtain had been opened in that room so he crawled over to it, keeping low to the ground through the weeds. A grass snake slithered away quickly through the high grass. He shuddered.  
  
"I hate snakes," he said, out loud, to the garden, as if to warn any others to keep away.  
  
He heard Tony start to sing and a grin spread over his face. Crouching low, he peered in the window. He saw Katy walk towards Tony, and he saw him envelope her in a long kiss.  
  
"This is gold." he said under his breath, and started snapping away. He saw Katy take Tony's hand and lead him out of the room.  
  
"No prizes for guessing where they're off to," he chuckled. He had done a good job. He felt so confident of himself, he didn't bother with stealth, and stood up, walking through the garden and back to his car. He would see Katy again tomorrow. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Katy laid in Tony's strong arms in the dark. She was wide awake, and clearly upset. She never intended on sleeping with Tony. She loved him, but not like how he wanted. She considered Tony to be a good friend, perhaps her best friend, but not as a lover. Katy had no idea why she had let herself get so carried away. Then, a depressing thought entered her mind. The last time she slept in this bed, John had been with her.  
  
Katy started to cry to herself. She hadn't noticed that Tony was stirring awake.  
  
"Katy?" he said, "What's wrong?"  
  
Quickly, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Nothing. nothing's wrong."  
  
"Don't give me that." Tony rolled over on his side, facing her. "What's wrong?"  
  
"This was a mistake, Tony."  
  
"No it wasn't. This was beautiful. It wasn't a mistake."  
  
"Yes, it was. I shouldn't have done this. I don't know if I'm ready for this sort of thing."  
  
"What's to be ready for? You can either be here in the arms of a man that loves you so much, or you can be on your own to dwell on the past."  
  
"That's what scares me. I know you love me. I'm not sure how I feel about you."  
  
Tony sat up, and was feeling for his clothes. "So why did you make love to me if you weren't sure?"  
  
Katy was quiet for a moment. "I'm not sure."  
  
Tony felt his heart burst into a million bits. He was confused, hurt and very angry. He found his trousers and shirt, and rushed into them.  
  
Katy had started crying. She was still in bed, and had the covers pulled up around her.  
  
"Tony, look, I do love you. I do. I'm just not sure."  
  
Tony was putting on his shoes. He stood up and opened the bedroom door.  
  
"Well, be sure to let me know when you are. You know where I am."  
  
He slammed the door behind him and Katy heard him stomp down the steps and out the door, slamming it behind him as well. She laid back down in bed and let the tears fall.  
  
* * *  
  
By the next morning, the lights had come on in her house. She got up and felt her feet land heavy on the floor. She got dressed, picking out a pair of herringbone trousers, a black scoop-neck cashmere top, and a red suit jacket. She retrieved her good jewellery from its hiding spot in the house and admired herself in the mirror. She was still gorgeous. She decided to get her hair cut in a few days time.  
  
Katy caught the DLR from Greenwich to Stratford. She walked from the station to the storage garage where John had left her car for her. When she asked at the office if she had anything to pay on the garage, they told her no, but to get all of her belongings in the garage, unless she wished to renew it for another four years. Katy declined and opened up the bay. All that was in the garage was her car. Katy got inside of it and turned the key. The engine hesitated then sprang to life.  
  
"Good old BMWs," Katy thought to herself. She drove out cautiously, and then got out to close the garage door. She handed over the key to the attendant and drove off. To get to Hendon she would have to go through Sun Hill. She drove very cautiously through Sun Hill, hoping not to draw attention to herself from anyone, especially Tony. Katy hoped that he wasn't on patrol.  
  
* * *  
  
Tony was in a foul mood. Dave glanced sideways across the Area car, noting Tony's scowl. Even through the morning briefing, Tony hadn't been his normal wisecracking self, even though everyone was just waiting for him to jump on Reg's suggestion of doing another Christmas Panto like they did a few years ago.  
  
"Tony, is something up, mate?" Dave asked him.  
  
"No."  
  
"Come on, it's me you're talking to. You've got a face like a smacked arse."  
  
"Will you mind your own business, Dave?" Tony said, glaring at him.  
  
"Just asking."  
  
They were silent for a few moments. Tony turned into Gatley Road.  
  
"Kathryn O'Sullivan got released yesterday," Tony said.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Dave said, smiling. Dave knew that Tony had always carried a torch for her.  
  
"I went up there yesterday, to Holloway, to bring her home."  
  
Dave was quiet for a minute. "How did it go?"  
  
"Alright. She was happy to see me."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Took her home, helped her in."  
  
"And that's it?"  
  
Tony was silent.  
  
"I imagine she'd be upset and all. seeing as Robocop's no longer with us."  
  
"Yeah. Upset." Tony made a U-turn in Gatley Crescent and drove back out onto Canley High Street.  
  
"Did she know about him and Claire Stanton?"  
  
"Yeah. She found out."  
  
"What did she have to say about it?" Trying to get the whole story out of Tony was like pulling teeth.  
  
"She was angry."  
  
"Did him and her get back together after we nicked her at the hospital?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so."  
  
"Wasn't that priceless, Tone? The look on his face after she belted him one! I would have paid money to see that scene!"  
  
Tony snorted, "It's just too bad we all couldn't have had a go."  
  
"Anyway, what else did she say?"  
  
"Not much." Tony turned down Back House Lane.  
  
"Is she still a looker?"  
  
Tony felt a piercing pain in his heart, "Yes."  
  
"Do you still fancy her?"  
  
Tony was silent.  
  
"Yeah, you still fancy her." Dave was grinning like the cat that got the canary.  
  
"Piss off, Dave," Tony said, angrily.  
  
"It's alright, mate. Half the men down the nick fancied her at the time. What's not to fancy there? Besides, with Robocop gone you've got a chance there! A lonely good looking girl who needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to comfort her. Mate, when's the last time you got your leg over?"  
  
"Dave if you don't shut up I'm going back to the nick to get another partner," Tony growled.  
  
"I'm just saying, Tone, you should go for her. What have you got to lose?"  
  
"I did."  
  
"And?" Dave asked.  
  
"We. you know."  
  
"And?" Dave asked.  
  
"She said it was a mistake and she wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing."  
  
"So now you feel guilty?" Dave said.  
  
"It's more than that. I love her Dave. I've loved her for ages, and I don't just want her like that. I want her to love me like I love her."  
  
"But did you enjoy it?"  
  
Tony was silent for a moment. "It was the most incredible thing that's ever happened to me."  
  
"Then was it worth it?"  
  
'Was it worth it?' Tony thought to himself. 'The pain I'm in now, seeing her cry like that, this feeling that I'll never see her again, is it worth one moment of having her in my arms, feeling her lips on mine, being inside her?'  
  
"Yes."  
  
* * *  
  
Katy hit the north circular off of Canley High Street. She eased her car into gear and accelerated. The North Circular was not so busy, being early afternoon. She came off at Golders' Green and drove up to the gates of the Metropolitan Police training academy at Hendon.  
  
The guard came out from the booth and walked up to the side of her car. "Name?"  
  
"Kathryn O'Sullivan. I'm here to see Mr. Deakin. He's a professor."  
  
"Is he expecting you"?  
  
"No."  
  
The guard went back in his booth. He picked up a phone and was speaking through it.  
  
"Mr. Deakin teaches in Block 3. It's the one over there." The guard pointed. "Room 301. He's expecting you. Park in guest parking." He handed her a tag for her car.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
The guard opened the gate and Katy drove through it. There were some new recruits doing physical fitness exercises on the lawn to her left. She parked up and walked towards the building.  
  
She looked up, and saw Chris standing at the window of his office, watching her. Katy broke into a wide grin and waved. Chris smiled and waved back. He came down the steps to greet her.  
  
"Katy, how are you?" he asked, looking over her.  
  
"Just fine, Chris! How are you?"  
  
"Fine!" he exclaimed. He embraced her and gave her a warm hug which she returned. Chris was looking slightly older, and his hair had got lighter, but he still looked handsome for his age. She could tell he was glad to see her.  
  
"Why don't we go for a coffee?" he asked.  
  
"Sure! I'd like that."  
  
"I'm finished teaching for the day. You're lucky you caught me, I was ready to leave."  
  
"Where do you suggest we go?" "Do you know Hampstead Hill? There's a nice little pub about halfway up it, The Dog and Gun, I think it's called."  
  
"I can find it," she said.  
  
"Alright, how about if I meet you there in a half hour?"  
  
"Ok!" she said. Chris walked her to her car.  
  
"Still have this beauty, I see."  
  
"Yeah. John tucked it up for me while I was inside."  
  
Chris's face fell at the mention of John. He put his hand on her shoulder. "I'll see you there then."  
  
"Ok." Katy gave him a wave as she pulled out of the lot.  
  
Chris shook his head. She was still beautiful. He wondered if Tony Stamp had seen her yet.  
  
* * *  
  
Katy took her time driving over to Hampstead Hill. She admired the trees and leaves. It was a pretty area, up around Hampstead. She found the pub off on the left side of the road. It was a lovely country pub, the type that just aren't found in London. She parked up and went inside. She ordered a mineral water for herself and sat off to the side in a private stall. A large Springer spaniel wandered over to her and she gave him a cuddle. She would need to get another dog. John looked after her dog, Midnight, while she was inside, but he had died very shortly after. He was old, and also, John reckoned, had missed her too much. The spaniel curled up at her feet.  
  
Shortly after, Chris came in and spotted her. He ordered a pint for himself and sat next to her. The dog raised his head, gave Chris the eye, and laid back down next to Katy.  
  
"Looks like you found a friend there," Chris said, smiling.  
  
"Yeah. Dogs like me." Katy scratched the dog behind his ears and his tail started wagging.  
  
"So, how are you anyway?" Chris asked.  
  
"Well, not bad I guess. They managed to get my gas and electric back on pretty fast!"  
  
Chris smiled. "When did you get let out?"  
  
"Yesterday." Katy sipped her drink. "Tony Stamp was there to pick me up."  
  
"Was he now?" Chris said. "You know he fancied you like mad. Used to drive John crazy."  
  
"I can imagine," Katy smiled. "He's a nice enough bloke."  
  
"So, do you think that you and him might, you know?" Chris asked.  
  
Katy looked sad, "I don't think so. I just don't feel it for him. I know he's a good, nice guy but I don't think that he's my type."  
  
"What sort of guy is your type then? And don't say John, because he's nobody's type." Chris's eyes sparkled, and he half-smiled.  
  
Katy laughed, for the first time in ages. "Someone a bit more, I don't know, sophisticated. Tony's too. common. And I hate to be that way, but I don't know how else to put it. He's a lovely fellow, good natured, and he's got a good heart, but I want something more than just that."  
  
Chris smiled to himself. "You want that fire."  
  
"Yeah. That spark."  
  
"And there's more. I miss John terribly."  
  
Chris reached across and took her hand. "I know you do. But he's gone now. You must try to work through it."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Tell you what, why don't you come over to my place tomorrow night and let me cook you dinner. Maybe a nice meal will help take your mind off of things."  
  
Katy smiled, "I'd like that Chris."  
  
'Yes!' Chris thought to himself.  
  
They chatted and finished their drinks. Chris was living in Ealing, these days, having moved from Sun Hill. Katy found Chris to be very charming, and witty. He made her laugh and had the sexiest sparkling blue eyes. Even though he was 12 years older than her, she didn't mind. After all, she was 35. No spring chicken anymore.  
  
Chris took her hand and kissed her fingers. Katy blushed, and smiled.  
  
"Until tomorrow," he said.  
  
Katy gave him a wave and drove off. Chris could barely contain himself.  
  
* * *  
  
The man sat in his car, following Katy. He had known about John's storage garage in Stratford. He assumed, when she left the house that day, that she probably would be going there, and he was correct.  
  
"Nice car," he mumbled to himself, as Katy drove out of the lot. "John's bird has good taste in one thing, at least."  
  
Driving through Sun Hill, the man was very careful to keep a low profile. One wrong look at his infamous visage would no doubt be the end for him and for everyone else as well, and he couldn't have that. Not when he was doing so well. Once these photos got out, hopefully, he could put an end to this nonsense and could go retire somewhere warm, without worrying about owing anyone anything. He hated being indebted to anyone.  
  
As they drove up the North Circular, he took great pains to keep at a distance from her. For a BMW Z8, she was taking it rather cautiously. He rolled his eyes. If it had been him, he would have wanted to blow the dust out of the tailpipes a bit, but not her. She got off at Golders Green.  
  
"What the hell could she want here?" he said, out loud, to himself.  
  
As she pulled into the driveway at Hendon, it clicked in his head.  
  
"Ahh. Going to see the governor. Wonder how that old fart's doing these days?"  
  
He pulled off down the road, and got his camera out. He snapped photos of Chris giving her a hug hello, and of them talking to each other. Katy got back in her car and he followed her to the pub.  
  
He knew he would never be able to get photos of her in a pub so he gave up.  
  
"Besides," he said, to himself, "I've got enough, I think. What with that goldmine of Tony shots and this, I'm sure he'll get the picture that his little lady's moved on to greener pastures." 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
"Have you got the pictures through yet?" The man said, down the phone.  
  
"Yes." He flipped through them on his monitor. Katy and Tony Stamp. Katy kissing Tony. Katy leading Tony out of the room. Katy and Chris Deakin. Katy hugging Chris. Chris helping Katy in her car.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"I think you should get in touch with her. Tell her what's going on."  
  
"But mate, you've seen her. She's moved on. If Tony Stamp doesn't get her, Chris Deakin will, you know that."  
  
"That's why you have to do it now."  
  
"And how do you propose I do this? It's not like I'm anonymous to those who she's hanging around with."  
  
"I don't know. Knock on her door. Wait until she's alone."  
  
"She's not been alone since she's been out of jail, mate."  
  
"Well, wait until she is."  
  
"I've got to get out of here. Someone's bound to clock me soon."  
  
"Tough. This whole situation is your fault. You got me in, now you get me, and Katy, out of it."  
  
"Can't you just find someone else? There's tons of fit birds down there. Just look outside on the beach!"  
  
"No. I don't want one of them. I want Katy."  
  
"She's that important to you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Worth me getting caught for?"  
  
"Yes. Look, don't do this. You owe this to me. Just get on with it, will you?"  
  
"Alright, Jonathan." Don Beech shook his head, and rubbed his temples.  
  
"How's Sun Hill anyway?"  
  
"Rainy. Cold. Shitty. Same as usual. Look, if she knows about Claire she might not even want to be with you. once she finds out you're alive, that is."  
  
"She will do. She loves me. Once she hears the whole story she'll understand. You don't know Katy like I know her."  
  
"Whatever. One girl's as good as another when it all comes down to it, if you ask me."  
  
"Well, I didn't, and you obviously don't know Katy."  
  
"But she's sleeping with Tony Stamp! John, she's moved on!"  
  
"I don't care, Don, will you just quit your bitching and get on with it?" John's voice raised, as he was getting angry and impatient.  
  
"Right. I'll call you in a couple of days." Don hung up and sighed. This was going to be difficult.  
  
* * *  
  
Katy had to see it for herself, even though she didn't want to. She walked up to John's grave, holding a bouquet of irises. She picked off a display of dead roses, that had been there a while and started weeding around the grave.  
  
"John, it's me. I'm here. I got out of prison a few days ago. I wish you could have been there. I wish it could have gone to plan. I hope you're happy wherever you are right now."  
  
Katy laid her irises down by the headstone and sat against it.  
  
"I found out when I was inside. I almost went mad with grief. They had to sedate me for a while because I was so distraught. Why did you do it John? Why didn't you tell me about her? I wouldn't have been angry if you had just been honest with me."  
  
Katy heard someone clear their throat. She stood up and turned around. A thin, horsey-looking blonde haired woman was standing there, with a bouquet of roses.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" she asked.  
  
"I'm Kathryn O'Sullivan. John Boulton's fiancée. And I assume you're Claire."  
  
"That's right, Claire Stanton, and. what do you mean, fiancée? I'm his fiancée."  
  
"John proposed to me on March 9th, 1997. When, may I ask did he propose to you?"  
  
"July 23rd, 2000," Claire said, her voice trailing off. "Kathryn O'Sullivan. Wait a minute. John left you something in his will. You've got power of attorney over his bank accounts. His pension went to you. There's a safety deposit box as well. I didn't know who you were to get it to you."  
  
"I was inside. HMP Holloway."  
  
"You're a convict?"  
  
"Ex-Convict. Long-term snout of John's, also long-term partner and lover. I *made* John Boulton."  
  
Claire eyed her for a moment. Something was falling into place.  
  
"Kathryn. how much do you know of what went on?"  
  
"Not very much. John was coming up to visit me every couple of weeks after I got sent down, up until he died. When I got released we had plans to start our own PI firm."  
  
"When I met John, I was CIB - investigating corruption in the police force. I was sent in to investigate Don Beech and John. Don was suspected of taking bribes and protecting some major players. John was supposedly helping him, but also, had been accused of letting people off and taking bribes for it, apart from what Don was doing. The story about John was that apparently he had some dirt on a high court judge that he used to get a sentence for a highly dangerous burglar reduced to only four years."  
  
"I was that burglar." Katy said, glaring at Claire.  
  
"So he did get your sentence reduced?"  
  
"Yeah, but he told me that he just had a word with the judge and told him about my record of assisting the police with drugs and prostitution matters. I also took a bullet for John on the last operation we did together."  
  
"It was a little more than that, apparently. John had witnessed that judge having an underage sex romp and turned a blind eye for a favour that he called in for you. The judge was so angry that he got onto us about it."  
  
"I see."  
  
"I never had any proof of it, and I never found out who you were to interview you about it so I figured it never happened and let it drop. But here you are."  
  
"Yeah, and there he is. Dead. Like my dreams. But there was one thing that kept me going. And that was giving you a going over that you'd never forget. But here you are and I can't even bring myself to hate you. You only had half the story as well."  
  
Claire smiled a wry smile at Katy. "Looks like our Mr. Right was a big Mr. Wrong in so many ways."  
  
"Yeah, you can say that again."  
  
Claire put her flowers down on John's grave. She stared at it for a minute and then said, "Come with me. I've got those keys and bank details for you."  
  
* * *  
  
Don had followed her to Canley Cemetery. He had planned on approaching her at John's grave as soon as she had paid her respects. Then a gold Camry pulled up and Don almost choked when Claire Stanton got out. He slunk down low in his seat until he was sure that she had gone inside, then drove off quickly.  
  
* * *  
  
"Ah, Katy, come in." Chris held the door open for her.  
  
"I wasn't sure what you were making, so I brought one of each." Katy held out a bottle of Domicile Romanee Conti 1995 La Tache Grand Cru Burgundy and a bottle of Chateau d'Yquem 1994 Sauternes Bordeaux, chilled.  
  
"Oh, very nice." Chris's eyes grew wide when he read the labels. "These must have cost you a few bob."  
  
"Ah, you know me." She grinned.  
  
"Indeed." Chris knew they were nicked.  
  
"Something smells good," Katy said, using her chef's senses. "I smell king prawn and sea scallops in a lemon cream and paprika sauce served over pasta."  
  
"You've got a chef's nose, Katy."  
  
"Well, I am a chef. I went to cooking school, for that day that I wouldn't be able to fall back on burglary."  
  
"I hope that my efforts reach your standards then."  
  
"I'm sure they will, Chris." She cast her eyes over his flat. It was a tidy, tastefully decorated flat, which was definitely a bachelor's pad. A table was set in the middle of the room with candles lit on it and two place settings laid out. Chopin was playing on the stereo that sat off to one side.  
  
"Please, sit down. Dinner will be a few more minutes." Chris handed Katy a glass of the white wine.  
  
Chris sat next to her on the sofa. She told him about her encounter today with Claire.  
  
".And she seemed, really nice, Chris. Here, I'd spent all this time hating her and she was alright."  
  
"Did she give you the details for the accounts and the safe deposit box?"  
  
"Yes. I think we both realised that we had been deceived."  
  
Chris got up and went in the kitchen. He came back out and held out a chair for her. "Dinner is ready."  
  
Katy smiled as he pushed her chair in for her. He set her plate in front of her, and then his own down. He sat next to her.  
  
Chris raised his glass, "Here's to happy futures."  
  
Katy raised hers, "I'll drink to that."  
  
They sipped their wine and started eating. The food was excellent. She could tell the prawns and scallops were very fresh, probably from Billingsgate.  
  
"So," Katy said, "Where did you become such an expert in the gourmand?"  
  
"A man's got to know these things, when trying to impress a lady," Chris said, with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
"So, you're trying to impress me?" she asked.  
  
"Possibly," he said, smugly. He wasn't giving away anything.  
  
They finished their meal, making small talk, and openly flirting with each other. Katy enjoyed their banter. Chris was definitely what she would call a ladies' man, but she didn't mind it. After being locked up for five years, a little attention from a decent, refined man went a long way.  
  
They poured the red wine after they finished the white. Chris had cracked it already to let it breathe. Getting up from the table they sat next to each other on his sofa.  
  
"So, Katy, what are your plans now?" Chris asked her.  
  
"I don't know really. I might get a job as a professional chef. Cooking is one field where one doesn't need a starch-white record to get employment."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking, do you really need the money?"  
  
"No. I've never needed it. You can imagine that dad set me up well, and mind, I've not done too badly either."  
  
"But you're not going back to nicking?"  
  
"No. I'm too old for that nonsense. I know dad did it for years but it's different for women. Besides, I promised John I would quit and I want to honour that promise."  
  
'Good,' Chris thought to himself. 'If she's not nicking anymore then that means I could start seeing her.'  
  
Chris slid his hand over to her leg and brushed it against her knee, as if it was an accident. After a little while he did it again, when she didn't move away. The third time, he left his hand there.  
  
Katy was feeling drunk from all the wine. It was the first time she had drank alcohol since being released. Was Chris hitting on her or wasn't he? It had been so long that she couldn't tell. She had always found Chris attractive, but never further than that because of John. Now that John wasn't around anymore, she decided, what the hell? Deciding to try her luck, she stood up.  
  
"Where's the loo, Chris?" The alcohol went straight to her head, making her very woozy.  
  
"Top of the steps," Chris stood to help her.  
  
Katy reached out to take hold of Chris's arm. She slightly stumbled forwards into his arms, "I'm sorry, I think I'm a bit drunk."  
  
"That's alright," he said. She looked deep into his blue eyes, and kissed him. Chris was surprised but kissed her back.  
  
"Hello there Inspector," Katy said.  
  
"Mmm, hello, what have we here?" Chris murmured into her hair, as he pulled her closer to her. He raised her face up by placing his finger under her chin, and looked in her eyes.  
  
"You're a very drunk girl, aren't you?" he said, softly, the faintest hint of a smile playing at his lips.  
  
Katy grinned a wicked, boozy grin, "Yes, Inspector."  
  
"And if you were to drive home in this state, I'm afraid I'd have to nick you."  
  
"Oh no, Inspector," Katy said, slurring slightly, "I don't want to be arrested."  
  
"I guess you have no choice then but to come with me."  
  
"O-kay Inspector." Katy grinned Chris kissed her deeply, letting his tongue slip into her silky mouth.  
  
"Come on, my beauty, let me take you to bed," he held out his hand for her and she took it.  
  
At the top of the steps, he opened the bedroom door, and they both slipped inside. Sitting on the bed, Chris turned to her.  
  
"Katy." Chris started.  
  
"Don't say anything, Chris. I don't want to hear it if you don't mean it. Let's just love each other right now."  
  
"No, I want to say this. I fancied you from the moment I saw you. I don't want this to be a one-night stand. I want to be your lover now, and I want to be your lover a month from now. A year from now. Five years from now."  
  
Chris looked in her eyes, "We're perfect for each other. You know this. We're two of a kind." His fingers traced the bullet wound, now a slight scar, on her arm. "I remember when you got this. I was so worried about you. And that plonker hadn't told you the whole story and I knew it. I never would have let that happen to you. I never would have let any of it happen. I would have chucked it in and we could have hidden out somewhere, maybe in a vineyard in the south of France, anywhere."  
  
Chris kissed Katy as she looked in his eyes, unsure of what she felt. She wasn't certain if she was angry, or enthralled by Chris's admission.  
  
"You know me. You know what I am, just like I know what you are. We don't need the pretence. I can be the spark, the fire you need, and you, well, you're intoxicating. If I can be drunk on you every night, I don't need anything else, even your best vintage you've got squirreled away."  
  
"Chris." Katy said, "Shut up and make love to me."  
  
Chris smiled, and gave the lady what she wanted.  
  
* * *  
  
Don Beech sat outside of Chris Deakin's flat. He smoked a cigarette out of the car window. John owed him big time for this. The thought of Chris Deakin in a dating situation was enough to put Don off of sex for life.  
  
Then Don had a thought that almost made him roar with laughter. What would Chris think if he knew that Don was right there, outside his flat, watching him? Don chuckled to himself and waited. It was 11:30 at night. He saw the lights go off in the window to the lounge. Katy's car was still there - she definitely wasn't going anywhere.  
  
Don flicked his fag end out of the car window and drove off. He felt like getting a scorecard for her. Out of prison for four days and already she's shagged two blokes. She didn't wait around. Oh well, who was he to judge? If John wanted her, then so be it. He had a job to do.  
  
Don drove back to Greenwich. He parked up around the corner from Katy's house and unlocked the boot of his car. If he knew one thing, from his years in the police force, it was how to break in a house. Don scaled around the back of Katy's house, and then thought of the broken front window. He got a crowbar out of his sack and pulled away the boards. He used his old ASP to knock the rest of the glass out and squeezed through. His foot knocked against a photo she had on a shelf, breaking the glass. It was one of her and John, smiling, cuddled up at a restaurant somewhere. Don propped it back upright and opened the front door. He nailed the boards back over her window, and went inside. He was going to wait for her even if it meant waiting all night. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
"Who do you think you are, bitch? In here, you're nobody."  
  
Silence. Someone was screaming. Wait, I'm the one screaming. What's going on? Why are they hitting me?  
  
"Your copper boyfriend isn't going to save you in here. Heh, I always thought the filth got their own kind off."  
  
Now, darkness. John's here. He's calling me, saying my name over and over again. He's beckoning me to come to him. Where is he? I open my mouth to ask but nothing comes out. I can't speak. John's on an airplane. He's flying over me, passing me by, but I can't move. I'm chained here.  
  
"Take me with you!" I cry, "Don't leave me here, take me with you!"  
  
It's too late, he's gone.  
  
Silence.  
  
Katy awoke with a start, drenched in sweat. She looked around, wildly, not recognizing where she was. Then she saw Chris Deakin's head on the pillow next to her and the realisation of what she did, sunk in.  
  
Katy felt sick to her stomach. It was like the earth was causing her stomach to churn. She shot out of bed and stumbled towards the loo. As quietly as she could, she threw up. Splashing cold water on her face, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy. Katy was startled by a knock at the door.  
  
"Katy," Chris said, "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah." Katy opened the door.  
  
"You weren't planning on running out on me, were you?"  
  
"No," she said. 'Yes,' she thought.  
  
"I was just sick. Probably too much wine. I had a nightmare and I woke up."  
  
Chris put his arm around Katy, leading her back to bed. "Can I get you anything?"  
  
"No, I'll be alright."  
  
"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?"  
  
"No. It was about prison."  
  
Chris held her in his arms. Katy smiled, and let herself relax. He wasn't John but he'd do.  
  
"Right, my beauty, I've got to get back to sleep, I've got to be up to teach at 8:00." It was 2:30 AM. "If I'm up before you, help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and I'll call you at home later."  
  
"Alright, Chris."  
  
He kissed her gently, and closed his eyes. She looked at him, and smiled sadly to herself.  
  
"Chris?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Chris smiled and fell asleep, content. Katy closed her eyes and tried to will sleep into coming. She counted his breaths, in and out, regular and steady. Snippets of the dream kept coming back to her. John on an airplane, flying away. How she wished she could fly away from here, Tony Stamp, Chris Deakin, Sun Hill, and her guilty conscience. Did she love Tony? Yes but not like he wanted. Did she love Chris? No, but he was a good shag, and good company. She felt awful. She had never been a slag, and John had only been the second bloke that she had made love to. However, she always held the principle that if she wanted someone, she would have them. Having two partners in four days, though, was a bit much for anyone's standards. She felt horrible about sleeping with Tony - that was a major mistake, one that she could never hope to rectify. Chris, on the other hand, the only regret she had was not getting out of there. It's not like she didn't want a relationship with him, she just wanted time. The sex was mind-blowing between them, though. But it wasn't enough for her. He wasn't John. And that was the problem. He could be her lover but he wasn't John.  
  
Katy sighed and closed her eyes. She must have drifted off because she was awoken by Chris's alarm clock. She pretended like she was asleep while he got ready. He kissed her goodbye and she heard the door slam. Quickly, she got dressed and went to leave. She noticed a note left on the front door.  
  
Katy,  
  
Many thanks for a beautiful evening. I can't wait to see you again.  
  
Love,  
Chris  
  
PS: You might want to wait until 10:00 before going to avoid rush  
hour. xx  
  
She balled up the note and shoved it in her jacket pocket. She got in the car and braved the rush hour traffic back to Greenwich.  
  
* * *  
  
Katy did not notice the shards of glass on her front porch. After a two hour drive back to Greenwich, she was just happy to be home finally. Unlocking the front door, she slung her handbag down, and rubbed the back of her neck. She went into the kitchen and put the kettle on.  
  
Someone cleared their throat behind her, and she jumped, startled.  
  
"I want a word with you."  
  
Katy stared, wide eyed, at the intruder. He took a step forward. She felt for the drawer behind her. Quickly she stuck her hand inside and brandished a large kitchen knife.  
  
"I know who you are. You killed John. If you take one more step closer to me I'll bloody kill you!"  
  
"Katy, Katy, calm down love." Don put both hands out in front of him. "It's alright."  
  
"No it's not, you murderer! It's your fault I'm alone! It's your fault I'll never be with the man I love!" Katy nearly sobbed, but held firm the knife, although her hand was shaking.  
  
"I've got something I want to tell you. Something you need to know. After I said it I'll be gone and you'll never see me again."  
  
"What? What could you possibly have to say to me that would make any difference?"  
  
"John is still alive."  
  
"No. No he's not. Fuck you! What sort of sick joke is this? Fuck you! I'm going to give you 30 seconds to get out of this house or else I'm calling the police!"  
  
"The only phone's in the hallway and you'd have to get past me."  
  
"What, and you think I couldn't?" She clutched the knife in her hand and swung it menacingly.  
  
"Katy, you and I both know this is getting nowhere. Now, I don't want to hurt you, just put down the knife. Put it down."  
  
Katy glared at Don. She slowly put the knife on the island in the middle of the kitchen.  
  
"That's a girl. Now, all I want to say is this. John is still alive. He had to get out of England. He's in Kingston, Jamaica right now and he's waiting on you."  
  
"I don't believe you. John wouldn't. Why would he need to get out of England?"  
  
"Well, CIB was investigating him because of the deal he pulled to get your sentence reduced. That, and, let's just say that the dealings that him and I had weren't always that above board."  
  
"But where does that Claire woman come into all this?"  
  
"I think you better ask him that yourself."  
  
"I see."  
  
Don reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "This is from John for you. He told me to give this to you."  
  
Katy opened the envelope. There was a plane ticket inside to Kingston with her name on it. It was due to go in three days' time. The note read:  
  
Katy, my love,  
  
Certain things had to be done, and I'm so sorry about all this. I'll  
explain everything soon. Come to Kingston with Don. We'll be  
together, just like we planned.  
  
I love you so much my sweet angel. I can't wait to see you.  
  
Love,  
John x  
  
"How do I know this isn't some sick joke?" she asked.  
  
"Does it look like a joke? That's his handwriting."  
  
Katy studied the letter. It was indeed John's handwriting. He always had terrible writing, very illegible.  
  
"So let me get this straight, John's alive and hiding out in Jamaica, where he went to get away from CIB?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Who were only investigating him because of me."  
  
"Well, among other things."  
  
"And, that body who is buried in John's grave, that's not John?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Whose body is it?"  
  
"I don't know. My mate took care of all of that. It was good enough to pass for John, and they had the warrant card and wallet to prove it was him so that was enough - no further identification needed. By that time John had gone so the body satisfied."  
  
"But why didn't he tell me all this?"  
  
"What were you to do about it? You were banged up for another year and short of us busting you out of Holloway, there was no way you could come with us."  
  
"Why are you here now, though? You're wanted for murder, among other things."  
  
"Because I owe him this, and besides, he wouldn't stop going on about you." Don leaned against the wall and ran his hand through his hair. "It was starting to piss me off."  
  
Katy turned around. She studied the letter, running her thumb over his name. John was alive. All this time he was alive. He let her believe he was dead for the past year, let her mourn for him, let her feel guilt when she tried to move on, let her live her life hating that Claire girl, who was as ill-informed as she was. She was overjoyed, but also, very very angry.  
  
"So, what shall I tell him then when I speak to him tonight? I've been up all night waiting for you. Did you have a good time with the Guv?"  
  
Katy glared at Don, "That's none of your business. How long have you been following me?"  
  
"Since you got let out."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Yeah. And I told John as well, she's moved on with her life, mate. Get over her. But he insisted that I speak with you."  
  
Don took a step closer to Katy, "But the question is, Kathryn, what are you going to do? Are you coming with me or does the Guv or Tony Stamp light your fire these days?"  
  
"I'm going to do nothing." Katy handed the ticket back to Don, and turned around to look out the window.  
  
"What do I tell John then?"  
  
"Tell John that if he wanted me, he should have kept me. Tell him Kingston's too hot. Tell him I've moved on. Tell him that I just don't care anymore. You can say whatever you want. But, do be sure to tell him that as far as I'm concerned, he *is* dead."  
  
"Are you sure about this?"  
  
Katy took a deep breath. The tears were rolling down her cheeks and her whole body was shaking with emotion and exhaustion.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Don shrugged his shoulders, turned and left. Katy felt her knees go out from under her and she started to sob.  
  
* * *  
  
"So she said no, mate. Said that she had moved on. Also said that to her, you are dead or some rubbish like that. It's over."  
  
"No, I don't believe you. Katy wouldn't do that." John flipped on his computer screen and opened an image of her and him together. Katy was laughing, grinning broadly. John was also smiling a goofy smile. It was beautiful, they were so happy. He must have stared at that image a thousand times, and every time he did he still thought she looked lovely.  
  
"Well, you better start believing it, because it's done. She wants no parts of you."  
  
"Try her again."  
  
"Are you mad? She nearly came at me with a kitchen knife. Between her and your bloody ex sniffing around my days here are numbered. I'm leaving."  
  
"No, Don, please go talk to her one more time."  
  
"There's no point, mate. Absolutely no point. She's sure. She spent the night with Chris Deakin last night as well, so I reckon that's where her intentions lay."  
  
"That's rubbish."  
  
"No, it's not. Listen, John, I'm leaving on the next flight out of here. It's over. Any debt I had to you is finished. I'll see you when I get back."  
  
Don hung up the phone. "Shit," John said. He sat there, staring at her photograph. Why did she say no? What was wrong with her? This was their chance to be happy together and she refused it! After all this time, all those wasted years, she was just going to say no and walk away.  
  
John flipped off his monitor. He laid on the bed and closed his eyes. It was a hot day, about 32 degrees C. He could hear people singing outside of his window. The sound came in waves, along with the heat, and the noise of the ocean crashing against the shore. For Mr. J. Bassett, formerly Boulton, lived in a cottage by the sea. He picked it because he thought it was the kind of place Katy would enjoy. When he was getting his affairs in order, he was sure to leave Katy his money, so she would bring it with her, and they could get set up. He wasn't sure if they were going to stay in Kingston or move away, to somewhere else, but as long as Katy was by his side, he didn't care. Now all that seemed irrelevant. She wasn't coming to Kingston to be with him. She didn't want him anymore.  
  
A shard of conversation came back to him,  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Katy said, as John stared off into space.  
  
"Nothing." John said, smiling, and he took a bite, "Do I need to say this is good, or do you know already?"  
  
"Don't lie to me John, I've known you too long. What are you thinking about?"  
  
"Us. you. How stupid I was to let you go."  
  
"I wholeheartedly agree."  
  
"How I'm never going to make that mistake again."  
  
"I should hope not," Katy said, sipping her wine, "You won't get another chance."  
  
John looked at her for a long moment. He reached across the table and took her hand. "I won't need another chance."  
  
He couldn't shake the feeling that his chances had run out. Rolling over on to his side, he thought to himself about his options. There was no way he was risking going back to England. It was by sheer luck that he managed to get out in the first place, and that Don's dodgy passport worked. Secondly, he didn't know her phone number to call her. He was sure that it had changed and she hadn't had her old one renewed. Thirdly, he didn't have anybody left who he trusted to get a message to her. Since Don was now out of it, there wasn't anyone left.  
  
John sighed. Maybe Don was right. Maybe he should just move on. But it was Katy he loved. He never loved anyone before in his life, and as much as he had tried in the seven years they were split, he didn't meet anyone who could hold a candle to her. Surely that meant something.  
  
John swore under his breath. Why did he have to let his life spin out of control like this? Why did he have to get involved with Don Beech? Don had a friend at Tintagel House who put him on to Claire when she first arrived at Sun Hill. Don had taken him for a pint and discussed their options. Option 1: John go out with Claire and put her off, or option 2: John and Don skip the country. When John protested about seeing Claire because he was involved with Katy, Don told him not to be daft, that it would only be for a few weeks, and not to worry about it.  
  
"Go on mate, take her out to dinner, flirt a bit, maybe get your leg over. With your bird on the inside, lord knows it must be like a pent up geyser in there." Don motioned to his trousers. The words echoed in John's mind like a death sentence. Reluctantly, he went along with it. Unfortunately, it didn't go to plan. Claire dropped the investigation about John and focused on Don. With him squirming under her glance, and any day, the truth was going to be revealed to Claire, the only choice they had left was to flee. There wasn't time to tell Katy. He had to go then or else he would have been put in prison for a lot longer than four years.  
  
If only he hadn't gotten involved with Don's dealings, if only Don didn't coerce John into assisting him, he would be in Katy's arms right now, and probably planning their wedding, maybe moving his stuff in her cute little cottage in Greenwich. Instead he sat there in the Caribbean, granted there were worse places to be, but it wasn't good enough as she wasn't there to share it with him.  
  
And as for that rotten judge, well, he would have gladly taken the fall for that, and he didn't care. At least he could have gone down honestly, doing it for the woman he loved. If only it was all that simple. But it wasn't. He went along with Don because they were mates, because he didn't want to see Don get in trouble, and because it was his own head as well on the block. That's what made him cheat on Katy and abandon her. And that's the reason that she wasn't going to be with him. He couldn't blame her, really. He was feeling about as wretched as the deeds he committed against her. Abandonment, deceit, cheating, more abandonment. Why would a beautiful, lovely, sweet girl like Katy want someone as wretched as him? She'd be better off with Tony Stamp or Chris Deakin. John hoped she'd go for Tony. Chris would just end up playing her around. He was like that, a real ladies' man, who never could keep it zipped up when it mattered. Even though John and Tony didn't see eye to eye, he knew that Tony would look out for her and treat her kindly, and be a solid, dependable, decent partner for her, albeit a bit boring.  
  
John picked up the picture that he kept by his bedside. They had taken a trip to Windsor Castle one day, a long time ago. John had never seen it before. Katy was standing in an outer doorway and Queen Elizabeth I 's crest hung above it. She was smiling, happily at him, as he snapped the photo. He ran his thumb over her face, looking at her, and then pressed his lips against the glass.  
  
"Good luck Katy. I hope whatever you do you're happy." 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:  
  
Dear Tony,  
  
I don't know exactly how to put this, and I think the best thing I  
could do is to spit it out. I never, ever meant to hurt you but I  
know I did. I am so sorry. I wish I could take back everything I  
said and everything I did on that day, so that there would be no pain,  
and no hurt feelings between us. Just love and friendship. However,  
I know I can't take it back and the best I can do is to sincerely, and  
truly apologize to you, and hope that someday you may find it in your  
heart to forgive me.  
  
It's been very strange since I got out of prison, and I've had some  
very interesting conversations with some very unlikely people. A  
matter that I believed was dead and buried has somehow managed to come  
back to life, in the oddest of places, and I have to go away. I don't  
know if I'll ever be back. I am leaving in a weeks' time. I would  
very much like to see you before I go, although I understand if you  
don't ever want to see me again. If you wish to speak with me, I'll  
be in the Canley Arms from 1:30 - 2:00 on Wednesday. Please come,  
Tony.  
  
Love,  
Katy x  
  
Tony let the letter fall on the floor. He felt overjoyed and numb all at the same time. He was so happy that Katy wanted to talk to him again, but couldn't believe that she was going away forever. And what was she on about, "A matter that was dead and buried"? Was it something to do with John? And why would it mean that she would have to go away? If it had to do with him, surely the furthest away she'd have to go was Liverpool? It didn't make sense. He would definitely be there to see her before she left.  
  
* * *  
  
"This is Katy, I'm not able to come to the phone, please leave a message," her machine said.  
  
"Katy, It's Chris Deakin. I was wondering if I could see you tonight. Please give me a call. 020 8565 9143"  
  
'Not likely,' Katy thought to herself. She opened up her closet and started packing.  
  
* * *  
  
"Tony!" Katy exclaimed. Tony wrapped his arms around her and gave her a big bear hug.  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Fine, can I get you a drink?"  
  
"Yeah, vodka and cranberry juice please, Tone."  
  
Tony went to the bar. Katy sat down at the table and watched people walk past outside of the pub window. She glanced over at Tony. He had dressed up, and was looking good. He definitely made an effort for her. Tony came back with her drink.  
  
"Katy."  
  
"No, Tony, before you say anything I just want to say how truly sorry I am for what happened." Katy took his hand and squeezed it. "I never wanted to hurt you."  
  
"No Katy, it's my fault. I never should have went after you like that. I'm sorry for putting you in that situation and taking advantage of you like that. You were hurting and I used you."  
  
"No you didn't Tony, honestly you didn't." Katy looked in his big brown eyes and smiled.  
  
"That's awful sweet of you to say that."  
  
"I mean it, Tone." Katy sipped her drink, "Honestly."  
  
"Can we start again, Katy?" Tony asked.  
  
"I don't see why not. Hi, I'm Katy, and I'd like to be your friend." Katy grinned and extended her hand to Tony.  
  
Tony shook her hand and laughed. He put his arm around Katy and gave her a squeeze.  
  
Katy smiled, "See? That's better."  
  
Tony sipped his pint, "Yeah." He felt a pang of desire flush through him when he looked at her but squashed it as firmly as he could.  
  
"Now what's all this about something dead and buried?" Tony asked.  
  
"Yeah. Something unexpected came up. I've got to go away for a while."  
  
"How long are you going for?"  
  
"Maybe a week. Maybe forever."  
  
"Forever?" Tony felt his heart sink.  
  
"Yeah. It depends on how it goes."  
  
Tony was quiet for a minute. "What are you going to do?"  
  
"I don't know, Tone. But I want to give you something."  
  
Katy fished in her handbag and produced two sets of keys. She slid them across the table to him.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Keys to my house and my car. I want you to have my house and car, Tony. I know you like nice cars."  
  
"I couldn't live in your house, Katy!"  
  
"You're living at the section house, right?"  
  
"Yeah. But it's closing soon."  
  
"There you go then, there's your home. You can do what you like with it, you can even sell it and take the money for a down-payment on your own place in Sun Hill. I don't mind. But it's yours. I'll get the deed signed over to you this afternoon if you say yes."  
  
"But what if you come back?"  
  
Katy looked out the window, and sighed. She looked back at Tony.  
  
"I won't be coming back."  
  
Tony was quiet. He felt so very sad. It was so nice of her to give him her home, but he didn't want it. Not without her living there.  
  
"When are you going?"  
  
"Saturday."  
  
"Can I see you before you go?"  
  
"Sure, Tone. Why don't you come over tomorrow night and I'll give you the deed then? You don't mind if I stay through until Saturday?"  
  
"No, no, of course not."  
  
"Good." Katy finished her drink and checked her watch. "I've got to run. Solicitor's appointment."  
  
Tony stood up and gave her a big hug. His hands were shaking. "I'll. I'll see you then, yeah?"  
  
Katy kissed his cheek gently, "Sure."  
  
He watched her walk away and felt like crying.  
  
* * *  
  
"This is Katy, I'm unable to come to the phone, please leave a message."  
  
"Katy, if I didn't know better, I would think you're avoiding me. Call me."  
  
Katy was putting things in boxes, photos, mementos, pieces of art that she wanted to take with her. She was leaving Tony her furniture, cookware, and mostly everything else, but wanted to take with her at least a few things. She knew she needed to deal with Chris Deakin soon, but wasn't sure what to say other than, "Thanks for a good time, bye." He deserved better than that but frankly, that's how she felt about their evening together. He would have been a nice person to get to know. But things have changed now. John's still alive, and she was going to find him on her own. She hoped he was going through agony, when she refused to go back with Don Beech. She was going to teach John a little lesson in respect and make him earn her.  
  
The doorbell rang. It was Tony.  
  
"Alright mate?" Katy said, opening the door.  
  
"Hi there sweetie." Tony gave Katy a kiss on the cheek. He had brought her some flowers.  
  
"Thanks, Tone!" she exclaimed, and went to find a vase.  
  
Tony looked around her house. His house. He studied the raw ceiling, hand carved handrail going up the steps, and ancient hardwood floor. He could be happy here. There was no way he could afford a place like this on his police salary, and couldn't believe she was just dropping it in his lap.  
  
Katy set the flowers on the mantle, and came out with a manila folder. "Here are your papers sir. All you have to do is get them checked over by your solicitor and sign them and this place is officially yours."  
  
"Katy are you sure this is what you really want to do?"  
  
"Yes. This place has too many memories for me, and you need a decent home that you can call your own."  
  
"What are you packing?" Tony looked in her box.  
  
"Just a few things, my photos, some memories that I want to take with me. I'll get my solicitor to mail them for me."  
  
"No, you don't have to do that, why don't you let me?"  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Do you have the address yet?"  
  
"No. Once I do, I'll call you and you can mail them down to me."  
  
"Where are you going, Katy?"  
  
"Jamaica."  
  
"What's in Jamaica?"  
  
"I don't know." Katy smiled.  
  
"So you're leaving everything behind for something that you know nothing about?"  
  
"No, I know a bit about it. Look, Tony, don't worry about it. It's my folly."  
  
"Alright." Tony knew when to drop it.  
  
Katy went into the kitchen and took a bottle of wine out of the fridge. "Care to have a glass with me?"  
  
"Sure!" Tony said. He walked into her kitchen and got a good look of her copper pans that were hanging from the ceiling. There were spotlights, two ovens, stainless steel appliances. And it was all going to be his. He could hardly believe it.  
  
"Here's." she paused, considering her words, "To happy futures."  
  
"I'll drink to that," Tony raised his glass and sipped.  
  
Tony and Katy sat and talked long into the night. Somewhere in the course of the evening Tony realised that although he loved Katy, and always would do, that they were really better suited as friends. He cared deeply for her and felt very protective towards her, but he knew that romantically, they probably wouldn't have had much of a chance together. Katy was too wild, even now, and slightly dangerous. She wasn't the kind of girl that could be tamed by someone like him. He found himself wishing her well, and hoping that she met someone in Jamaica who would be perfect for her.  
  
Tony glanced at his watch. It was 1:30 AM.  
  
"Oh, I've got to go, Katy, I'm sorry. I'm on at noon."  
  
"Alright, Tony. Thank you."  
  
"What are you thanking me for, thank you!"  
  
Katy gave Tony a big hug and a kiss. "I'll never forget you Tony Stamp."  
  
"And I'll never forget you either Katy. You take care. And don't forget to call me with your address for those boxes."  
  
"Alright Tony. Take care my friend. Until we meet again."  
  
Tony bent down and gave Katy a soft kiss. His eyes felt moist.  
  
"Until we meet again."  
  
Katy waved at him as he drove off. Despite his efforts, he had to pull over halfway back to Sun Hill as there was something in his eyes. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
The 737 touched down at Kingston Airport about an hour after leaving Miami. Katy felt the bump and lurch which rose her from her half-asleep stupor. Standing up she stretched her muscles which had gotten stiff on the international leg of the flight. Heathrow to Miami gives new meaning to the term "long-haul flight". The heat hit her like a brick wall as she stepped off of the aircraft. It was oppressive, permeating every one of her senses. The light seemed to bounce off of everything, temporarily blinding her. She squinted and just about made out the person in front of her, who she followed to the customs office.  
  
She gained entry into Jamaica with no difficulty, and claimed her luggage. She had three bags with her, and they were all very heavy. As she came out of the customs barrier, she saw a taxi and flagged it.  
  
"Where are you going?" The cabbie asked. The cab was little more than two seats screwed onto an axle.  
  
"Four Seasons Hotel."  
  
"Oh, Very nice, my lady." The driver had a very thick accent. "Your skin, it's so pale. Where you from?"  
  
"England." Katy smiled. She realised that she might look a bit odd with her perma-white skin. Fishing in her handbag she found her sunglasses and put them on.  
  
"England, man. I never been. My great grandfather was English."  
  
"I'm sorry!" Katy was ashamed with what part of history he was alluding to.  
  
"No, it's ok. That's life. And it wasn't you was it?"  
  
"No, it wasn't." Katy smiled.  
  
"What your name, my lady?"  
  
"Kathryn. Kathryn O'Sullivan. What's yours?"  
  
"Chester." He smiled at her in his rear-view mirror and narrowly swerved through the crowded streets to miss a cart that had overturned.  
  
"Chester, can I ask you a favour?"  
  
"Anything my lady."  
  
"Have you seen this man?" Katy took out a picture of John from her handbag. She passed it up to him, and he glanced at it before passing it back to her.  
  
"No. Why, what's he done?"  
  
"He's just an old friend I've come to visit. Only problem is that he doesn't know I'm here and I don't know where he lives." "Tell you what my lady, I will call you at your hotel if I see him. If he gets in my cab I will let you know."  
  
"Thank you Chester."  
  
"Don't mention it."  
  
"Listen, can I take that picture? I'll show it around and see if any of the other cabbies seen him?"  
  
"Would you do that for me?"  
  
"I already said, I'd do anything for you my lady."  
  
Katy smiled to herself. People in Jamaica were nice! She passed the photograph back to him.  
  
They pulled into the hotel. Chester got out and took her cases out of the boot.  
  
"How much do I owe you?" she asked.  
  
"You owe me nothing. It was my pleasure." Chester took her hand and kissed it. "I'll speak to you soon my lady, Katy. I know all the cabbies on this island. I'll find him for you."  
  
Katy waved at him as he drove off. The bellhop had gathered her bags already and was taking them in.  
  
Her room was luxurious and large, with a big double bed, and a view of the ocean. She cranked up the air conditioning and opened the window. It defeated the purpose but it wasn't her electric bill. She wanted to soak in the sounds of this colourful country. Perusing the room service menu she ordered dinner up. She sat next to the window, staring out at Jamaica's night life coming alive. She heard wonderful reggae music on the breeze and people shouting to themselves in that peculiar Jamaican dialect. Somewhere, close by, was John, she could feel it.  
  
There was a knock on her door and her food arrived. It was nothing particularly special, but it did the job. She tipped the waiter generously and ate, watching the skyline fade from daylight, to orange and purple and finally to night. Then Katy had a thought. Why not go for a little adventure? She consulted the hotel information for something that would be fun to do that evening.  
  
* * *  
  
Down the road from Katy's hotel was the Royal Jamaica Casino and Hotel. It was there that Don Beech had decided to take John out for a night of getting his mind off of things. They were sitting in the bar, having a drink and watching the girls go by.  
  
"What about her, she's a bit of alright?" Don asked.  
  
A leggy brunette wearing a sequined frock with big hair walked by.  
  
"Nah. Not my type." John eyed up a petite blonde, wearing a sarong skirt and a low cut top.  
  
"What *is* your type then?" Don said, looking over a middle-aged brunette wearing a black dress. "If you don't have a crack at someone soon, I'm going to."  
  
"Be my guest. I'd rather drink."  
  
"Mate, you've got to get over Katy. She ain't coming back to you. Get over it, son."  
  
"Yeah, whatever. It's your round." John tapped his glass.  
  
Don got up, and went to the bar. A redhead sat down next to John.  
  
"Hi there handsome, where are you from?"  
  
"Your worst flippin' nightmares now do you mind, my mate was sitting there." The girl was a Yank. John hated Yanks.  
  
"Jerk!" The girl got up and walked off.  
  
Don came back, two beers in hand, "Now what was wrong with her? She was gorgeous!"  
  
"She's a Yank."  
  
"So? They can't all be from the UK, you know. More chance you running into Yanks then Brits down here anyway. All the Brits go to Barbados."  
  
John shrugged and looked over the crowd.  
  
"Jonathan, you've been bloody miserable since we set foot in this place. Jamaica is paradise, my son. Sun, sea, surf, and loads of fit birds on holiday who want sex. What more could you ask for? No, wait, don't answer that." Don rolled his eyes. "You've got to get your priorities straight. You knew the risks we were taking, you did it anyway, and now you've got to pay the price. That's why I told you, cut all your strings back home. I did the best I could for you but it's all over now. Best you get used to it."  
  
Don got up, "I'm going to go blow some of my hard-earned money. Talk to you later."  
  
On the floor below them, the doorman opened the door to a beautiful blonde, wearing a lilac silken gown, the tiniest necklace made of gold, with a single shell pearl in the middle of her neck, and her curly hair piled on her head, and cascading around her face. She had a small clutch bag in her hands.  
  
"Where is the bar?" she asked the doorman.  
  
"On the second floor, ma'am," he said, smiling at her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Katy headed upstairs. She scanned the room. There was slot machine upon slot machine, with fat Yanks wearing fanny packs stuffing coins into them A giant waterfall was in the middle of the room flowing down to the first floor. There were 10 blackjack tables, and some craps and roulette tables behind them. Katy scanned the room, looking for the bar.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Don Beech noticed her walk in and he turned to look. He dropped his bag of chips, and said, "Shit!" loudly. He had no time to get to John.  
  
Katy was lucky. She saw him before he saw her. Her feet were leaden as if she was frozen to the spot. He was standing at the bar ordering a drink, his back turned towards her. She could hear his dulcet Scouse tone of voice over everyone in the room. He turned around to go back to his seat, and saw her there, standing, watching him.  
  
"Katy!" he said, almost not believing it.  
  
She backed up, slowly, unsure of herself, eyes wide. He took a step forward. And then as if the magnets on her feet broke, she gained control back and took off, running away, quickly.  
  
"Oi! Katy!" John hollered. He slammed the beer glass down on the bar and took off after her.  
  
Don saw her cut a path through the machines and Yanks. He caught up with John as he sprinted past the table. "It's her Don!" John said.  
  
"I know, I saw her." Don said.  
  
Katy didn't want it to happen like this. She didn't want him to catch her. She ran down the sweeping staircase quickly, and glanced over her shoulder. John was at the top, with Don at his back. She ran through the door and shouted at the doorman, "Stop those men!"  
  
John and Don hit the front door and the doorman stuck his arm out, "Not so fast gentlemen."  
  
"What, why? Get out of my way!" John struggled around the doorman. He tried to see which direction she ran in. She ducked into the hotel next door and then the doorman let them pass.  
  
John hit the pavement quickly, and glanced up and down the street. She was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Damn it! Goddamn it!" he hollered. "Damn it!"  
  
"Calm down mate. She couldn't have gone far." Don put his hands in his pocket and looked at John, who was contemplating smashing his fist into something.  
  
"Well you tell me then where she is?" He asked, sarcastically.  
  
"Hotel. She'd be staying in a hotel," Don said. "Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. Now what do we do to track someone down in a hotel, Jonathan?"  
  
"Call around the hotels and find out which one she's staying in."  
  
"See?" Don patted him on the back, "I knew they made you a DS for a good reason." John glared at him.  
  
Don turned around to go back inside. John hailed a taxi.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Home. To find out which hotel she's at."  
  
"Suit yourself. Later." Don went back inside.  
  
Katy saw John get in the taxi, and watched it pull away from where she was hiding, behind a pot plant in the hotel lobby. She was sure people were staring at the well dressed woman cowering behind the plant, but she didn't care. She stood up and walked back to the casino.  
  
"Excuse me?" She asked the doorman.  
  
"Are you alright, honey? Did they try to hurt you?"  
  
"No. Do you know them?"  
  
"Yeah. They come here a lot. The red headed fellow usually gets drunk and the older man usually takes home some lady."  
  
"I see. Do you have any idea who they are?"  
  
"No. you don't have to be a member to come here."  
  
"Ok. Thank you."  
  
She hoped that either Chester or one of his friends was driving John's taxi. Her head hurt and her feet were aching. Slowly, she walked up the street. Upon getting to her hotel, she instructed them to not tell anybody that she was staying there, except for a man named Chester.  
  
* * *  
  
Around 12:30 in the afternoon, John's phone rang.  
  
"So, any luck mate?"  
  
"No. Called the Hilton, the Four Seasons, the Crowne Plaza, and the Meridian. None of them had a Kathryn O'Sullivan staying there. The Four Seasons nearly hung up on me when I asked."  
  
"Would she be staying under an assumed name?"  
  
"Possibly. I doubt it though. She doesn't know the kind of people it takes to get a fake passport."  
  
"What if she told the hotel not to give out her name to anyone?"  
  
"There's a possibility. Why did you choose those hotels?"  
  
"They're all 5 star. She would only stay at five star hotels."  
  
"Rich tastes," Don said.  
  
"Yeah. Her dad left her quite a lot of money when he died. She's got plenty. I've got an idea."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We could go wait in the lobbies of the hotels to see if she comes out. She's bound to go out sometime."  
  
"Just what I want to do, sit in some hotel lobby waiting on someone who may or may not be staying there. Nice idea, mate," Don said, sarcastically.  
  
"Alright, don't then. I am. I'm desperate. She must have came for a reason."  
  
"Maybe to go on holiday?" Don said.  
  
"Why here though? She knows I'm here. She must have wanted to run into me."  
  
"Yeah whatever. Have fun in the hotels. Call me when you find her or get a life, whichever one comes first."  
  
John hung up. He called a taxi to take him to the Meridian.  
  
* * *  
  
Just on the off chance, Katy decided to look in the phone book. There were no John Boultons or J. Boultons in the book. The only similar name was J. Bassett. Katy decided to check it out anyway. She jotted down the address and flagged a taxi. Chester pulled up.  
  
"Ah, my lady! You are more beautiful today!"  
  
"Hi Chester! How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine my lady. No sign of your fellow. I asked my cousins to keep a look out for you."  
  
"Thanks, mate!"  
  
"No problem my lady. Where can I take you?"  
  
"1321 Ocean Drive."  
  
"Ooh, that's a nice neighbourhood. Does your friend live there?"  
  
"I don't know. That's what I'm going to check."  
  
"Oh, I see." Chester drove out into the road, nearly mowing down some pedestrians. He shouted something out the window to them, and they gestured back.  
  
"Stupid people. Jah will be seeing them soon. Sorry about that my lady."  
  
"Don't worry, we've got them in my country too."  
  
"May I be so bold as to ask you something?"  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Would you ever like to go to dinner with me? I know a lovely lady like yourself might have tons of gentlemen but I and I would like to know if there's space on your list for me?"  
  
"Well, maybe. May I take your number and call you?"  
  
"I'd like that."  
  
They pulled outside of 1321 Ocean Drive. It was a small bungalow on the beach. A black cat sat near the front door. It meowed at Katy as she got out.  
  
Chester wrote his phone number down on the back of a card for Miss Sanjia's Lobster House. "Do you want me to wait for you, my lady?"  
  
The cat had wandered over to investigate these people who were getting out of the car. It rubbed against Katy's leg. She noticed the tag on the collar. The name of the cat was Sooty.  
  
"No, I think I'll be alright. Thanks Chester."  
  
"You call me, lady, if you need anything." He kissed her hand again, and drove off. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Katy scaled around the back of the house. It was a pretty house with a lot of potential, the owner obviously had no idea how to decorate. She peered in the window to the bedroom, and saw a photograph of her on the nightstand, and a certificate hanging on the wall with the Metropolitan Police crest on it.  
  
Sooty the cat meowed at her. She picked up the cat and cuddled it, "Tell me princess, does your daddy miss me?" The cat pawed her nose and started to purr.  
  
There was a sliding glass door on the back porch that led off to the beach. Glancing up and down she noticed if anyone was coming. Since she was alone, she got her suction cup and pump out of her bag and fixed it on the lock. A few quick pumps and the door was open. She was very glad that she didn't need to break a window.  
  
Looking around, she noted the spartan quality of her surroundings. John had a couch, a TV, a TV tray, a few pots and pans (clean but left out on the counter) and the cats' food and litter box. Katy closed the door behind her. She walked through John's rooms and could almost feel the sadness that hung in the air. She touched his pillow on the bed that he had left unmade. It smelled of him.  
  
Sooty was following her through the house. Katy studied the Metropolitan Police certificate, "This commendation is to say that Detective Constable John Anthony Boulton has acted with valour and great bravery to the benefit of his fellow officers and the general public." She was unaware that John had received a commendation and wondered what he did to receive it. Looking around the room she spotted another framed certificate from the Met.  
  
"This commendation is to say that Kathryn O'Sullivan, a civilian, acted with great courage and bravery, in support of the Metropolitan Police." Katy's jaw dropped. She had no idea that she had been commended. She could only imagine that it had to do with her taking a bullet for John on the boat. Her hand instinctively went to her arm, and she rubbed the hard little scar there. She walked into the office. John had a computer, and a large CD rack next to it. She studied his music choices: Led Zeppelin, U2, Pink Floyd, The Smiths (a surprise), Dave Matthews Band (Katy had never heard of them), The Verve, and another surprise, Radiohead.  
  
Katy had always been a big U2 fan, and had introduced them to John. She eyed "All That You Can't Leave Behind", their new CD. Katy hadn't heard it yet. His PC clicked and whirred and she figured it was on. She opened the CD drive and stuck it in.  
  
Feeling slightly hungry, she opened his fridge. Quite a few cans of beer, Red Stripe. She opened his trash, and there were a few empty whiskey bottles. Katy shook her head, he had been drinking heavily as of late. She cracked one of his beers and sipped it. There was nothing for her to do but wait. She went into his room, laid on his bed and closed her eyes, listening to the unfamiliar songs.  
  
* * *  
  
It was dark by the time John made his way home. He had waited in that blasted lobby for hours but no sign of her. And he had three others to do as well. Feeling dejected and disgusted, he hailed a taxi.  
  
"1321 Ocean Drive, mate." Chester glanced at the picture that he had sitting on the seat next to him, and in the rear view window. It was Katy's fellow. Chester decided to keep his mouth shut, and to stay close by when he dropped him off, just in case this fellow wasn't as glad to see Katy as she hoped he'd be.  
  
Quickly, he drove to the house where hours before he had let Katy off. John dropped some money in his lap through the window, and walked through the yard to the front door. "Sooty?" John called. "Here Sooty!"  
  
John fidgeted with the key trying to get it in the lock. He opened the door with a start and heard Sooty meow in the darkness.  
  
"What are you doing inside then?" he asked, fumbling for the light switch. Before he could reach it, the lights came on.  
  
"I let her in."  
  
John was silent, shocked for a second. Katy was standing in his living room, arms crossed, waiting on him.  
  
He shut the door behind him. "Katy. how did you get in?"  
  
"I'm a professional burglar, John, you shouldn't have to ask that."  
  
John looked at her. He couldn't believe she was there, in front of him, in his house. Was he seeing a ghost? Had all those months and years of dreaming of her finally made him lose it? He reached to touch her.  
  
Katy hauled off and slapped him. As his face radiated heat, he decided that she definitely wasn't a ghost.  
  
"I suppose I deserved that."  
  
"You deserve a hell of a lot more than that," she glared.  
  
"What. what do you want? Why are you here?"  
  
"I want the truth. I want to know why you skipped the country, faked your own death, had another woman on the side, and I want to know if there is any reason I should still be in love with you."  
  
"Why didn't you come back with Don?"  
  
"Because, if you didn't have the bottle to face me, I wasn't going to come. But I want some answers. And I want them now."  
  
"Do you want a beer?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
John went into the kitchen and got two cans of Red Stripe from the fridge. He noticed that a can was missing.  
  
Handing her the can, his fingers brushed her hand, and he felt an electric current pulse through him.  
  
"Have a seat," he motioned towards the sofa.  
  
Katy sat down. She cracked her beer and swung it in an undignified gulp. John stared at her and she glared back at him.  
  
"Where do you want me to begin?" he asked.  
  
"From the beginning."  
  
"Well, as you know, I got you a shortened sentence for your little stretch inside. I had some dirt on the judge and that's how I managed it. He wasn't too pleased with it, and complained enough to get CIB interested. But they were also interested in dealings that Don Beech and I had with a guy named Fallon. It was a big money-laundering operation, and Don was taking kickbacks from it. Me, on the other hand, knew about it but was looking the other way. I never received any of the proceeds from it but the fact that I knew about it but didn't do anything was enough to see the both of us sent down for it."  
  
John paused to take a drink, "Yes, I was involved but not seriously. Yes, there was another woman but it wasn't like what you think. Claire was the CIB mole that was trying to investigate us. Don found out through one of his contacts and told me about it. We both thought that maybe if I took her out once or twice, it would get her off the trail."  
  
"You were engaged to her, John. She showed me the ring you got her. She believed you wanted to marry her." Katy thought, with some smugness, that the ring John bought her was bigger.  
  
"Yeah, I did ask her to marry me. But it was a diversion because she was getting close to Don and Fallon, and I was trying to buy some time."  
  
"Did you sleep with her?"  
  
John looked away.  
  
"So you slept with her. And I'm supposed to believe you didn't mean it?"  
  
"You slept with both Tony Stamp and Deakin after getting let out within a few days of each other!"  
  
"Yeah but I thought you were dead! I was still alive, albeit, banged up."  
  
"Katy, this is hard enough, please don't make it any harder."  
  
She paused for a moment and glared at John. He looked miserable. It was obvious he hadn't been sleeping. There were bags under his eyes, and his hair was slightly thinning in the back.  
  
"Alright," she said, quietly, "Go on."  
  
"So, when it was evident that her relationship with me wasn't putting her off, we decided to go with plan 2. Fake my death, make it look like Don did it, and then we both could do a runner."  
  
"Why didn't you come to see me? Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"What good would it have done but made you worry! You had enough on your plate in there."  
  
"Made me worry? Made ME worry? Do you have any idea how I suffered after you died? Do you know how many nights I spent crying, how I had to be sedated. how I tried to kill myself?"  
  
"No. I'm sorry love," John squeezed his eyes shut. His hand flew to his lips, and he shook his head. "Christ, I'm sorry. I had no idea."  
  
"No, you didn't think how that would affect me, having a newspaper dropped through my cell door with your picture and the article saying you died, and the ultimate insult, 'Survived in death by his fiancée, Claire Staunton', written in it. You were the only reason I had to live in there, to withstand the abuse, the beatings. Criminals don't take kindly to women who have relationships with police."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Katy. If I would have thought about it, if I would have had time to warn you I would have."  
  
"It's not like I was up in the highlands of Scotland, John. I was in Holloway, North London! It was hardly a distance!"  
  
John shook his head. "What more can I say? I'm sorry, Katy. I truly am. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"  
  
Katy looked at John for a long minute. What could she say? He was still handsome. He hadn't changed. The only difference was that he didn't have the job anymore. It was a rotten thing he did, but by now she was used to his well-meaning mistakes. It didn't make up for it though. She could see the love in his eyes, and knew that he wasn't happy leaving her there in England and running away. She also knew that he probably had no choice.  
  
"I don't know if you can. But you're gonna bloody try. You've got the rest of your life."  
  
John felt a wave of relief wash over him. He stood up and walked over to her. Grabbing her, he pulled her up off the sofa and crushed her to him. He kissed her fully on the lips, and let his hands run over her body.  
  
Katy let herself be pulled into his embrace and be carried along. She returned his kisses. It felt so good being in his arms again! He pulled back to look at her.  
  
"So, when do you want to become my wife?"  
  
She looked back up into his eyes, tears forming in the corners of hers. "As soon as possible."  
  
John scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. As he flipped on the light switch, she whispered, "If you ever pull another stunt like this on me, I'm gonna kill you!" 


	9. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
Tony packed his suitcase. He had enough leave on him that he decided to go on vacation for the first time in ages. After considering all his options, he decided to go to Jamaica. He thought of Katy, less than what he used to, these days, but he still wondered what happened to her. She never called to get him to mail the box, so he had kept it for her. One day he looked through it. There was a photo album of Katy and her family, and tons of photos of John Boulton, and her and John. Somehow he didn't want to get rid of it, just on the off chance, so it collected dust in his closet. That was three years ago. Since then, more new faces had come to Sun Hill, more old ones had moved on, and some other rubbish had happened as well. The most recent episode had left him reeling, and he was desperate to put the ugliness out of his mind, and relax somewhere warm and sunny.  
  
* * *  
  
One day, halfway through his holiday, he was walking along the beach. He had wandered very far, to the point where there were houses instead of hotels lining the beach. As he rounded the corner, he saw a blonde, curly haired woman laying out on the beach. She was visibly pregnant. A red haired man, who looked vaguely familiar was coming out of a house, carrying a small child on his arm.  
  
"Love, I just need to nip down the shops for some milk, I won't be a minute."  
  
Tony backed away behind a tree. He would know that voice anywhere. The woman got up and took the child out of the man's arms. He kissed her lovingly and walked back inside. Tony studied the woman for a moment. He knew who she was. It finally all made sense to him.  
  
...A matter that I believed was dead and buried has somehow managed to come back to life, in the oddest of places, and I have to go away...  
  
He contemplated speaking to her, but decided that he didn't want to know the whole story, and it was enough just to know that they were alright and happy. Tony turned and walked away.  
  
Katy followed her child's gaze towards the man walking down the beach, away from them. Even though it had been a while, she knew who he was, and she smiled. Joshua waved goodbye at the man, and so did Katy. 


End file.
